Which Ferrari to use for stage rallying?

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

TORONTO, ONTARIO
DEC 30, 2005

IMMENSELY TALENTED AND ASTONISHINGLY HANDSOME UP-AND-COMING PROFESSIONAL RALLY DRIVER PATRICK MCVEIGH IS BEGINNING THE INITIALIZATION OF BLUPRINTING A PLAN OF POSSIBILITIES TO BUILD THE ULTIMATE IN STAGE RALLYING MACHINES, STARTING WITH A FERRARI 360 ACQUIRED FOR THE LOW PRICE OF $5,000 (NEEDS WORK). HE IS SEEKING LIKE-MINDED, YOUNG, HIP, URBAN INDIVIDUALS TO AID HIM ON HIS QUEST FOR GLORY BY REVEALING THE SOLUTIONS TO THE CHALLENGES POSTED BELOW:

* I want to convert this car to 4wd so as to have a level playing field with the rest of the front runners. Will the stock system from an Enzo be up for it, or should I drop in something from a BMW?

* Bilstein NA has reccomended an off-road suspension which should give me approximately 3 feet of travel. Will this be sufficient for the 100' triple jumps at rallies on the west coast?

* I've designed a cage which will re-inforce every single suspension attachment point including: stock spring seats, shock mounts, swaybar mounts, and every bolt which holds a part to the car. Is it acceptable to have a 1.75" tube passing through the co-driver's seat under the present FIA rules?

BEAR IN MIND, THIS CAR WILL ONLY BE USED FOR 2 RALLIES UNTIL I AM SCOUTED BY FORD TO RUN A FOCUS WRC FOR THE 2008 SEASON. ANY POSITIVE-THINKING REPLIES WILL BE WELCOME, OTHERWISE I WILL TELL ON YOU. I LOOK FORWARD TO CRUSHING YOU ALL IN MORTAL VEHICULAR COMBAT, SEE YOU ON VICTORY LANE.

(specialstage is getting too touchy feely for even my tastes these days...)

>>IMMENSELY TALENTED AND ASTONISHINGLY HANDSOME UP-AND-COMING PROFESSIONAL RALLY DRIVER PATRICK MCVEIGH IS BEGINNING THE INITIALIZATION OF BLUPRINTING A PLAN OF POSSIBILITIES TO BUILD THE ULTIMATE IN STAGE RALLYING MACHINES, STARTING WITH A FERRARI 360 ACQUIRED FOR THE LOW PRICE OF $5,000 (NEEDS WORK). HE IS SEEKING LIKE-MINDED, YOUNG, HIP, URBAN INDIVIDUALS TO AID HIM ON HIS QUEST FOR GLORY BY REVEALING THE SOLUTIONS TO THE CHALLENGES POSTED BELOW:

You fuckin egomaniac, you think you can just waltz in a be a fuckin hero without proving yourself in the intensely gruelling rally-cross circuit!!!!! Or is that circus??
Never knew if it was circuit or circus??
Just who da fuck you stink you are bub??!!
Have you proven you have the lightning quick reflexes to beat cars cost FIVE or even SIX FUCKING TIMES what your car costs???
HUH????
So what are Skye and Scott going to beat? $600 cars?

Some of those cars have more than 5 times the power AT IDLE that your car does at idle!!!!
>>* I want to convert this car to 4wd so as to have a level playing field with the rest of the front runners. Will the stock system from an Enzo be up for it, or shshould I drop in something from a BMW?

What? a Massive BMW the Ultimo driving machine?
What? Are you looking to do a Deja Vue of the old Axis power, Benito and Adoph part Deux???
Way to heavy and clunky.
Get a Geo Tracker reaR DIFF AND A hONDA oDDESSEY REAR DIFF FLIPPED OVER AS THE FRONT UNIT (fuckin caps Lock, why doesn't this thing go beep when I hit that thing in the flurry of flying fingers as I straighten you poor deluded fools out????)
Get an automatic, you'll need a free hand for combing your hair to be ready at the stage ends to do interviews.

>>* Bilstein NA has reccomended an off-road suspension which should give me approximately 3 feet of travel. Will this be sufficient for the 100' triple jumps at rallies on the west coast?

No Bilstein is far too cheap, I think you should go to SpesnatzStagnate and buy some of the suspenders from some of the Banner Advertisers who support the increasingly appropriately named SS on line.
There was a thread where a real nice guy said they have things aimed right at serious beginners like you for only $6800, Amerikanski REAL valuta.



>>* I've designed a cage which will re-inforce every single suspension attachment point including: stock spring seats, shock mounts, swaybar mounts, and every bolt which holds a part to the car. Is it acceptable to have a 1.75" tube passing through the co-driver's seat under the present FIA rules?

You should read Art 253 at FIA.com better Noobie. Only the required tubes need to be 1.75/44.5mm, tubes like the OPTIONAL ones supporting the blinker switch and glove box door can be any size you want.
As for the tubes passing directly up the center of the seat, the best way and latest way to secure guys like you into the car is to have a tube with a hemispheric end welded to a 1/8"/3mm plate with a minimum of 40 square inches, passing up approx 8" from the seat bottom.
Once you are attached to this tube, the belts are only optional, for saftey anyway.

As for getting signed by Ford, they will loook back, without that coveted CRS Stock Class Rally-x Champignonshit title I think you're going to be pipped at the finish line, an agonizing de-feet.

john vanlandingham Wrote:
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> Get an automatic, you'll need a free hand for
> combing your hair to be ready at the stage ends to
> do interviews.


Hehehehehehehhehehehe...

Hahahahah stop it you're killing me....

In all seriousness, you should think about getting a Ferrari 250 Testarossa instead and competing in Historic class.

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www.rallyrace.net

Here's another idea, I think this would be an excellent setup for a beginner, and I'm not stating that as opinion, but fact, because I'm an expert on all things rally.



You should have no problem finding parts or getting the suspension set up.

Skye

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www.rallyrace.net

I think you'll get a lot more attention Rallying an Isetta than you would a Ferrari. Besides there is nothing wrong with starting with a short wheel base and working up to a longer one.

Yeah....... Spend any time driving it and you will quickly see why they have foreverafter been referred to as the Bowel Movement Wonder....

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JohnLane

Overkill is consistently more fun

I am genuinely surprised that nobody has announced on SS.com that they are intending to build one of these.

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John Vanlandingham
Sleezattle, WA, USA

Vive le Prole-le-ralliat

www.rallyrace.net/jvab
CALL +1 206 431-9696
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is 3 hours behind Eastern Standard Time.

I'm not an automotive engineering guru, and not have I ever claimed to be.

But if the Isetta was properly caged, I don't think a roll over would be that harmful to the car.

Mind you, it is shaped like a ball so it would likely not stop rolling for a while once it started to.

And since it's a "HatchFront" Rally America would probably require some sort of bulkhead between the hatch and the drivers lap !