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Was this man separted from Rally Anarchy at birth?

Posted by john vanlandingham 
john vanlandingham
John Vanlandingham
Mod Moderator
Location: Ford Asylum, Sleezattle, WA
Join Date: 12/20/2005
Age: Fossilized
Posts: 14,152

Rally Car:
Saab 96 V4



Was this man separted from Rally Anarchy at birth?
August 04, 2007 07:50PM
Funny and sometimes insightful read from an Autralian fan's blog:
http://alliancemotorsport.org/antilag/

Here's a taste:
Acropolis Rally of Greece
Filed under: Rallying, Rally predictions — admin @ 1:52 pm

And has time flown? Yes, it is time for the often lamented (or lamentable) disgrace to the english language that is other wise known as the….

…the

….

…

..

Oh stuff it.

I’m sorry but I cant do this this time. I cant keep trying to invent and write something that makes at least someone smile and maybe even laugh if the heart isnt in it and frankly when I see the current state of the WRC… I just dont care. I do this parody to take the p*** out of the sport, because we all need to have a decent laugh and as poor a driver as I can be, I still am a big fan of the drivers and cars blasting around in a forest at far too high a speed. I also parody because I actually really LIKE what I see, I find it amusing, or I have a point to make and yes, sometimes the barbs I plant do have a point.

The WRC is full of characters, situations and expressions that make writing a parody quite easy and indeed, most of the time it is. You take an idea you glean from the broadcasts, convert it and run with it - Duval’s tounge has to be one of the better examples, Gronholm’s exuberance, Solbergs sheer joy at just being alive, Atkinson’s bluntness, Loeb’s slighty less than perfect command of English…. it’s infectous and the personalities shine through. It’s all of this that makes it a joy to write and to use.

But something is happening this year I dont like. WRC is without a doubt the most exciting motorsport, but this year it’s gotten to be a joke. Argentina’s fiasco of the super special is really what’s set this rant off, plus the seeming dumbing down and neutering of rallying at the top level.

Look, we all know television is the Holy Grail of sport and things like marketing, sponsorship are now what most manufacturers care most about. But it seems to have reached an extreme level, where even rslly media that should know better have mistaken “marketing” and “coverage” for the two things rallying used to have in spades - “heart” and “soul”. WRC is losing those two things that are most precious and I for one have noticed. What we have now is a “product” that gets “marketed” and frankly… who the **** caes about a mere product? Who the **** cares about marketing, target demographics, etc? What the blazes happened to 12am service parks, lights blazing i nthe dark, long stages, cars and crews pushed to the limits, fans and drivers mixing, the newcomers and the WRC veterans at the same events all around the world in cars that actually are properly derived from road cars? Super 2000 and WRC are probably MORE modified than the past Group B cars, unobtainable except to the rich and the big teams, requiring support and money resources that dwarf even the late Group B supercars? Look under the new Citroen C4 WRC, there is simply NOTHING left of the road car except for the shell - and even that is heavily modified. The closest we have to a road going car is the Subaru and that is frankly begin left behind in the development stakes because of that fact.

And what of the drivers?

Marcus Gronholm is hardly himself this year, all looking harassed and uncomfortable. Sebastian Loeb doesn’t look all that pleased either, Mikko Hirvonen isn’t even looking like he’s asleep anymore, Petter Solberg’s spirit and joy has been crushed by the ****box he’s in. Chris Atkinson’s been worth a few quotes but apart from the Monte’s alst day battle, what the blazes has happened in this year to warrant further comment from anyone? Loeb continues to dominate at will, Subaru’s are pathetic, the personalities of the drivers seem to be neutered

The cars themselves are fast, but they arent even that exciting to watch.

What ever happened to drivers like Colin McRae, who were willing to bin cars and always turned it on like the following video?

http://video.google.com/videoplay?do…in+Mcrae&hl=en

Why has twaddle like super specials in tiny stadiums become so important that they can cause a full day to be lost? Look, the Langley Park Super Psecial probably had it right, not too small, close to the service park and was at the time a great gimmick. But look at the super specials that infest Europe - in soccer stadiums????? WHO CARES????? WHAT’S THE BLOODY POINT?????

I really do think media like RSN, ISC, plus our sport’s governing bodies need to wake up, stop with the garbage and droning MBA speak, remember what rallying is properly and truly about and actually start delivering what we know is best and what we all love.

Ed, The Lord bless his Nomex socks, gets it. He is also 100% right about how well rallying could survive without TV, WRC or the ARC, or the big teams (ie, it’ll be fine). He is also right in how long it would survive if you took away the very life and soul, which actually still exists at lower levels and how long it would last if State level competition was killed (ie, it would die)

When I first encountered rallying in the early 90’s, it struck me how the shared community and mateship was present from the top to the bottom. It didnt matter whom you were, you were welcome. And it was all about fun only.

15 years later and 10 years leave of absence, the community is still there but there feels like a barrier between us down here at the bottom and those at the top. What happened…? Have I just got my head up my backside and not seeing things right?

Anyway, that’s the rant over with. And for what it’s worth, I think Mikko Hirvonen will with Greece, with Danni Sordo second and Aktinson third - well, Subaru’s luch HAS to change and I think Greece may be it.

Loeb’s Citroen breaks, Marcus goes off. Solberg fourth and Solberg fifth, Latvala sixth, a muse seveth and I dunno another Ford eight?

You normal WRC parody will return for Finland once I’ve refilled my funny and my bank account."


Whaddya think?



John Vanlandingham
Sleezattle, WA, USA

Vive le Prole-le-ralliat

www.rallyrace.net/jvab
CALL +1 206 431-9696
Remember! Pacific Standard Time
is 3 hours behind Eastern Standard Time.
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hudson
Andrew McNally
Professional Moderator
Join Date: 01/08/2006
Posts: 1,217


Re: Was this man separted from Rally Anarchy at birth?
August 04, 2007 08:12PM
Yeah he's got a lot of points and they echo a lot of what's said around here. Although I would have to say that this year Loeb isn't dominating the same as last year.. partly because the Ford's aren't braking down.. but he's also fucked up a couple times.

About the cars specifically.. I agree, but that's just following EVERY other major motor sport whether or not that particular one claims to be based from production cars or not. So is it inevitable? I don't know.

I don't like the super specials at all.. and refuse to watch the full coverage of them (a big yawn).. that whole mess up in Argentina was pretty ghay. I think the big emphasis on the super specials may be due to the recent "success" of Nascar.

I'm too young to remember.. but wasn't rallying an all day all night thing with a lot more competitive KMs covered at one point? tongue sticking out smiley



Andrew M
Onterrible
30ish
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Pete
Pete Remner
Elite Moderator
Location: Cleveland, Ohio
Join Date: 01/11/2006
Age: Midlife Crisis
Posts: 2,022


Re: Was this man separted from Rally Anarchy at birth?
August 05, 2007 08:38AM
The last WRC round I watched was... oh hell I can't even remember. The pre-show, however, had a bit segment on Mikko Hirvonen's days leading up to the rally.

It was basically:

Testing
Media
Banquet
More media
Some recce
Banquet

..etc. 10 pounds of bullshit for 2 pounds of rally. Sad,





Pete Remner
Cleveland, Ohio

1984 RX-7 (rallycross thing)
1978
Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.
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Rich Smith
Rich Smith
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Location: North Bend, WA
Join Date: 01/27/2006
Age: Fossilized
Posts: 254


Re: Was this man separted from Rally Anarchy at birth?
August 06, 2007 07:05PM
In my best Sidney Poitier imitation, I sing:

AMEN....
AMEN....
AMEN.... AMEN.... AMEN

Rich Smith
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NoCoast
Grant Hughes
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Location: Whitefish, MT
Join Date: 01/11/2006
Age: Midlife Crisis
Posts: 6,818

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BMW



Re: Was this man separted from Rally Anarchy at birth?
August 06, 2007 09:22PM
I read those Amen's in the World Cup, Ole' Ole' Ole' Ole' Ole' Ole'.
If you know what I'm talking about, you know what I'm talking about. If not, fucking YouTube.



Grant Hughes
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Cat Terrist
Marcus Dunn
Godlike Moderator
Location: The frozen wasteland of Blaxland
Join Date: 08/30/2007
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Galant VR4 RS


Re: Was this man separted from Rally Anarchy at birth?
August 30, 2007 06:01AM
Good evening to you all,

I am the author of said ridiculous musings and I bid you all hello. Nice to find what appears to be USA rally fans and crews on the web.

I'm a driver myself and a fan smiling smiley
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john vanlandingham
John Vanlandingham
Mod Moderator
Location: Ford Asylum, Sleezattle, WA
Join Date: 12/20/2005
Age: Fossilized
Posts: 14,152

Rally Car:
Saab 96 V4



Re: Was this man separted from Rally Anarchy at birth?
August 30, 2007 11:11AM
Cat Terrist Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Good evening to you all,
>
> I am the author of said ridiculous musings and I
> bid you all hello. Nice to find what appears to be
> USA rally fans and crews on the web.
>
> I'm a driver myself and a fan
Welcome Earthling, take us to your lead,,, wait different movie--

Well we've looked over your CV and find that you are in fact an excellent match so we are offering you the position of Foreign Correspondent.
Now you may notice that even after you've posted only one post you're already an "Ultra Moderator" which sounds pretty impressive, eh?

We don't discriminate here, even if you're from OZ.

So as you know, with privileges come responsibility.


You mission, Jim you accept it, (and it seems you already have) is to report all the juicy bits from down there where you are, tell us about your events, lengths, stage km, entry fees, costs for tires and junk, beer costs, if the beer is in stubbies or what, What's happening generally in Oztralian rally, what the fuck John Howard is up to, and whose ass is he going to rim when George Bush is thrown out, and hope springs ever eternal, jailed.

Now Rally Anarchy was founded out in my driveway one evening when a bunch of us had been drinking beer (as all good rallyists should!) and smoking ciggies and the conversation turned to the ever and rapidly growing chasm between a few independantly wealth guys and how the other North American rally forum,
SpecialStage.com
was getting just too fuckin stodgy, and way too "concerned with image" and had a moderator who was some annoying the fuck out of me, and as it turned out to my surprise, the other 8-9 guys there that evening. The virtually unquestioned acceptance of the private corporation Rally America's trying to do a mini version is ISC/Dave Richards 'if we make a glitzy TV program, then the sponsorship dollars will (eventually) bury us all!' made some of us tired, and some of the newcomer rich guys taunting and lecturing guys who have done this shit for 20 years, telling us they know what the sport needs "to reach the Big Time", made us puke.
So we invented Rally Anarchy where everybody's a Moderator, just depends on what sort you are all based on an incredible complicated algorithm so it changes hour by hour depending on what YOU are thinking. (Thanks NSA!)

So just remember, when the going gets weird,
the weird turn Pro. "H. Thompson"

England expects that every man will do his duty

You knew the job was tough when you took it.

Pull your socks up.

Welcome.

John V who needs more tea.







John Vanlandingham
Sleezattle, WA, USA

Vive le Prole-le-ralliat

www.rallyrace.net/jvab
CALL +1 206 431-9696
Remember! Pacific Standard Time
is 3 hours behind Eastern Standard Time.
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Graminal95
Graham Cullen
Junior Moderator
Location: Southern NH and Sweden
Join Date: 10/09/2006
Age: Midlife Crisis
Posts: 32

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1973 Saab V4


Re: Was this man separted from Rally Anarchy at birth?
August 31, 2007 08:43AM
now that was a great and honest rant.

I feel much the same way, although I don't follow WRC that well, I do feel that it has become a full on spectator sport, where most people don't have a hope in hell of getting into.

When I starting building my Saab 96 ohhhh 9 year ago now, the local events had a lot of people (100+) competing and most of those people had simple old cars (rx7, 510, Saab, volvo, even a kick ass omni). It was a sport that I had hoped to get into for little money (in comparison to WRC or even the 4wd open class cars) and just be able to play around with my car safely. I had never thought that I would finish in the top 20, Hell I would have been happy just to finish the rally (I was 16 at the time..... Flip! Flip! Flip!). Over the years the rules change and my car has changed from Group 2 to vintage (but I would have to change back all the cool stuff I had on the car) and now its in what ever class (JVL add class here_____), the cage does not meet the new rules and to be honest even if I had the money to fix the cage, there is no way I could afford the entry fee, food, hotel (tent)..... thats comes with the rally.

What happened to the days of the mini, 96, escort mrk I,II,II, (insert and old cool car here____), even the cossy. Cars that you or I could get a hold of, make into really fun cars and take to a rally that is of reasonable cost. I have to say its enough to make me give up.

I have been going to the Swedish WRC for the past few years and will continue to go, not because the cars are soooo bittttchinn and fast (oh man they really are), but to hang out with my friends and drink beer in the fuckkkking cold. There was a time when we would have done the same thing, but the talk would have been about "I'm going to build a car like that" NOT "WOW that was like, way fast" and "man what cool engineering these cars have". I know the times are a changin, but it seems sad to think the end has come (A few years back now) of the realistic rally car.

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gemorris
Glenwood E Morris
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Location: Raleigh NC
Join Date: 05/02/2006
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Posts: 40

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none yet


Re: Was this man separted from Rally Anarchy at birth?
September 05, 2007 03:01PM
Cat Terrist Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Good evening to you all,
>
> I am the author of said ridiculous musings and I
> bid you all hello. Nice to find what appears to be
> USA rally fans and crews on the web.
>
> I'm a driver myself and a fan


Man, now you're over here too? Funny to see someone from one community on another.
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Cat Terrist
Marcus Dunn
Godlike Moderator
Location: The frozen wasteland of Blaxland
Join Date: 08/30/2007
Age: Possibly Wise
Posts: 3

Rally Car:
Galant VR4 RS


Re: Was this man separted from Rally Anarchy at birth?
September 10, 2007 01:21AM
I'm guessing your from Something Awful, correct?

Then yes, I'm the one and same dickhead on SA as well.
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Cat Terrist
Marcus Dunn
Godlike Moderator
Location: The frozen wasteland of Blaxland
Join Date: 08/30/2007
Age: Possibly Wise
Posts: 3

Rally Car:
Galant VR4 RS


Re: Was this man separted from Rally Anarchy at birth?
September 10, 2007 01:27AM
Do you really want to encourage me to actually stick around? I might come up with even more verbose dribble like I'm known for and pollute said forum with verbal diaherroa and while that may be a good thing, It does leave a stain.

However, I can most certainly tell much of Australian rallying. And of beer and late nights around a campfire after events singing songs and watching highly regarded rally drivers fall into said roaring blaze with a grin. Or projectile vomit into it.

John Howard is looking more and more likely to be out of a job very soon. And the likely replacements arent into Bush rimming, altho I suppose one of them don't mind a reacharound from China.
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darkknight9
Kirk Coughlin
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Location: Saint Paul, MN
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Posts: 493

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Dreaming of escorts and xrats



Re: Was this man separted from Rally Anarchy at birth?
September 10, 2007 09:28PM
Cat Terrist Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Do you really want to encourage me to actually
> stick around? I might come up with even more
> verbose dribble like I'm known for and pollute
> said forum with verbal diaherroa and while that
> may be a good thing, It does leave a stain.
>


The more, the merrier!!!



Kirk Coughlin
Woodbury, MN and River Falls, WI

Quemadmodum gladius neminem occidit, occidentis telum est.
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