Invectives

Ladies and Gentlemen,
I find the level of the language used on this board very limited. Therefore, I offer the following for your use. And lest any one think that I am the author of such good stuff, I confess I copied it from snopes.com

You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As is commonly said in Texas, I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions printed on the heel. You are a canker; a sore that refuses to go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the most profound contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in horrified recognition of what they had done. That your sire had not paid the money for oral gratification on the day you were conceived will forever be lamented. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformed, twisted wreck. The very thought of you inspires nausea. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers have long avoided you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth.
Did I mention you smell? Attempt to engage your sole remaining synapse before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to those near you.
You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it tiny and rancid, set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality has forgotten. And what meaning do you expect your delusional self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake? You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile, one-handed, slack-jawed, drooling, meat-slapper. On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper, the intellect of a small soap dish. You are dank, filthy and asinine. You are the sole source of all unpleasantness in the reality that other humans recognize. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing that you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away.
I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid, so stupid it goes well beyond the comprehension of mortal minds, a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed in upon itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid that has become so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your though processes must be a troll upon this planet, inviting the wrath and ridicule of all it’s denizens. Prior to your existence, nothing in our universe was thought to be quite this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. You are some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me.
I no longer have the strength to deride your existence or being, let alone you alleged attempts at appearing intellectual. Duh. In an attempt to strip away the least important portions of what you have expressed, I have been left bereft. Your attempt at constructing a creative conversation was both pitiful and painful. Perhaps later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, count, and express yourself in more than mono-syllabic grunts, you will have more success. If I had known of your condition, that this was your case then I would have never allowed you to engage me in an attempted exchange of ideas. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. An ‘exchange of ideas’ with you is like light and dark exchanging shades of gray… you have absorbed any hint of ideas that I may have wished to express, and have given no indication that you were sated, or that they had effected you in any manner. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.

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RichardM

HaHAAA!
That is irrefutable, unrebuttable, and AWESOME!
Yes.

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Monika Hawkinson
Seattle, WA