Early retirement

Dear employees,

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW programme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,

The Management

Excellent!

Morton, is that original writing by you?

Nej jeg kan desvaere ikke tag anerkendelse for den, men tak for dit kompliment aligevel. : )

Cut and paste from one of those things that goes round email chains.

He's calling you a wrinkled old has been too, you gonna take that lying down?

---

John Vanlandingham
Sleezattle, WA, USA

Vive le Prole-le-ralliat

www.rallyrace.net/jvab
CALL +1 206 431-9696
Remember! Pacific Standard Time
is 3 hours behind Eastern Standard Time.

john vanlandingham Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Cut and paste from one of those things that goes
> round email chains.

Not that it matters, but my cousin in Denmark emailed it to me.

> He's calling you a wrinkled old has been too, you
> gonna take that lying down?

Geeeez John, if you have something to say to Jens... just say it ! (I think there's a clinical expression for this type of behaviour -> Passive Agressive)

> John Vanlandingham
> Sleezattle, WA, USA
>
> Vive le Prole-le-ralliat
>
> www.jvab.f4.ca


Jens, the loose translation is :

No I can't take recognition for it but thanks for the compliment anyways.

Morten2 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> john vanlandingham Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Cut and paste from one of those things that
> goes
> > round email chains.
>
> Not that it matters, but my cousin in Denmark
> emailed it to me.
>
> > He's calling you a wrinkled old has been too,
> you
> > gonna take that lying down?
>
> Geeeez John, if you have something to say to
> Jens... just say it ! (I think there's a clinical
> expression for this type of behaviour ->
> Passive Agressive)
>
My god. The impression you give is one of total cluelessness bordering on actual mental retardation.
Let me explain in terms that even you who must find offense and fault everywhere (except tween your ears---you really think that sawdust is capable of higher thought!!??).
You write something in Danish to somebody who just happens to have a Danish name.
I presume from reading his stuff for over 10 years now, he speaks only North American English. So I presume he can't read, and won't try to read a word of it.

Of course, I can, its simple, but this is OFF TOPIC in case you couldn't figure that out, so I write what I know, that it was ripped off without attribution from chain email, and then make a joke to Jens that really doesn't make any sense in any context about what you said in your Danish response.

See? It's a joke.

Look, numb nuts you need to learn what an old cowpoke from Texas once said to me cause your way past this point already:
If you can't take a joke, you soon become one.

(See--attribution--unimportant but it gives credit where it's due--it is nice)

> > John Vanlandingham
> > Sleezattle, WA, USA

> >
> > Vive le Prole-le-ralliat
> >
> > www.jvab.f4.ca

---

John Vanlandingham
Sleezattle, WA, USA

Vive le Prole-le-ralliat

www.rallyrace.net/jvab
CALL +1 206 431-9696
Remember! Pacific Standard Time
is 3 hours behind Eastern Standard Time.

John I was being SARCASTIC !

This is sarcastic too :

John, up your daily dosage of Ritalin.

:-)

it didn't look or sound like sarcasm.

---

John Vanlandingham
Sleezattle, WA, USA

Vive le Prole-le-ralliat

www.rallyrace.net/jvab
CALL +1 206 431-9696
Remember! Pacific Standard Time
is 3 hours behind Eastern Standard Time.

Only the mighty jvl is capable of sarcasm. Remember that Morten!

---

RichardM

john vanlandingham Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> it didn't look or sound like sarcasm.

Because, of course, sarcasm is so glaringly obvious on interweb fouri

---

First Rally: 2001
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Last Updated, January 4, 2015

Quote
john vanlandingham
Blame is for idiots. losers.

john vanlandingham Wrote:

> You write something in Danish to somebody who just
> happens to have a Danish name.
> I presume from reading his stuff for over 10 years
> now, he speaks only North American English. So I
> presume he can't read, and won't try to read a
> word of it.


1. The last time I lived in Denmark I was about 6 years old,
so for almost 50 years I have had no reason to continue with
Danish until today.

2. I tried a quick translation, but couldn't find any
software on my computer than does Danish. I didn't
waste more time on it, because I figured someone here
would eventually translate it for me.

3. I have lived in North America for the majority of
my life, but spent a significant portion in New Zealand and
a little in England and Canada. After several decades of not eating
vegemite, whitebait, clubbing baby seals, etc. there is no reason
I should pronounce the letter Z as "zed" and refer to an
elevator as a "lift", or spell color as "colour" anymore.



> Look, numb nuts....


Hey ya hostile shit, there is no reason for you to
name call Morton as "numb nuts" unless you acknowledge your
haughtiness.





Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 04/11/2009 07:24AM by Jens.